Lately the Lord has been revealing to me my desire to be self sufficient, and He has used my role as keeper of the home to reveal it to me. I love sitting around in a house that looks ready for a magazine spread, you know perfect. But most days it's an accomplishment if clothes are clean, dishes are done, and edible food can be recognized in the frig.
My desire for self sufficiency is usually triggered with a straight up lie from the enemy, THAT I BELIEVE. The enemy says, "its up to YOU, Shanelle, to get it ALL done, and YOU'RE not doing a good enough job if your house isn't ready for a magazine spread" (even though I have two small boys, a dog, and work outside the home part-time). But when I believe this lie and self sufficiency takes hold, I usually go drill Sargent on my family barking orders to have everything in its place, or I play Superwoman, and spend a day off that is needed for rest... cleaning, scouring, sorting, and tossing.... all to have the perfect house. Either way it usually cheats me and my family out of meaningful time together. I was either too busy giving orders or too exhausted to be present with them at the end of the day. And when it ALL gets done on the days littered with a lie, I sit back and take credit for myself saying, "look what I have accomplished". In these moments I forget it was my family who helped me and paid a price or it was God multiplying my time and blessing the work of my hands to get it ALL done.
So.... now I have to ask God and myself, where else am I believing a lie that I have to do it ALL alone? Where am I being tempted to rely completely on myself instead of asking for help or relying on the Giver of....everything? Self reliance is really just pride wearing a hat trying to resemble something it is not. What lie are you believing that is drawing you toward self reliance rather than relying on the one who supplies all we need?